No Regrets
by kysis-the-bard
Summary: After Jade gives his "leave no emotional regrets" speech before their journey to the core, what does he do? Peony pays him a visit to help clear up some of his own regrets. Yaoi. limeish/lemon. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tales of the Abyss or any of those characters, etc. Thank Namco for the amazingly slashable Jade Curtiss.

**Warning:** yaoi. Seriousness. Emperor Peony x Colonel Curtiss. Use of status/rank as leverage. Possibility of death. Lime verging on lemon? Tra-lala. Spoilers. SPOILERS. Spoilers. Tra-lala.

**Author's Note:** I've been playing Tales of the Abyss again, and one scene just struck me. This is right before the journey to the core, inspired by Jade's comments about having no regrets. As much as I love Jade, I don't think I can write from his point of view. This was soooooo hard to do. –shot-

**NO REGRETS**

"There is a serious probability that we will not make it back. With how long it takes for the Tartarus to sail to Akzeriuth, we will only have ten hours to stop the vibration within the core and get out." Jade sucked in a deep breath, pushing his glasses up over closed eyes with two teal gloved fingers. The others coming along were young, too young, but with the fon slot seal still on him, Jade could not do this alone. Nor could he pilot the Tartarus alone. They would all have to come along. "I suggest you do anything now that you wouldn't want left undone, in case we do not make it back. I would have for any of you to have regrets."

He could keep his voice so analytical, low and unaffected because that was what they expected by now. He was a Colonel in the Malkuth Imperial Forces, Third Division, a commander people looked up to, the Emperor's right hand man and childhood friend. He had to remain calm in situations such as this.

That and everyone there probably thought he was ancient. There was no grey in his dusty, light brown hair, nor was there world-wariness in his cursed crimson eyes. He was thirty-seven, which was some time on them, but it was hardly old. It wasn't enough time for him to do everything he had ever wanted to do, get rid of all regrets.

If he died there in the core, he would have a lot of regrets.

The others were already dispersing, heading off to do whatever it was they felt was appropriate. Jade had missed what they said, and probably missed an opportunity for his usual sarcastic input. That was no issue. He doubted they wanted to hear it right now.

What was important right now was resting up, making sure he was at top condition to do this. It would take a great deal from him, considering he was still not at full strength after the seal. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he would probably need the help of the others. Though he encouraged working together, he despised weakness, his own weakness now. It was sickening. He had worked for years and years and years to be strong enough if the end of the world were to finally come. At the time he had thought he was exaggerating.

Sheridan was Malkuth territory, and so Jade had his own room in the inn, larger than the others, with a wide, plush bed. It was not something he was used to. Even the Curtiss Household, a group of nobles, his living quarters had been much less, more military. They were a military family. They had adopted him so he could have the opportunity to put his genius to use for the good of Malkuth.

Sighing, Jade turned the dial on the lamp at the bedside table, watching the room finally come to light. It was dim, and yellowish in tint, but still worked. He had no plans of reading that night, though he had a few unfinished books in his pack. As much as he wanted to finish them, his rest was more important, as the success of the mission would rely upon it.

"I hear you might not be coming back."

"That is always a possibility." Jade responded back smoothly, not even turning in order to mask the fact that he had not noticed the Emperor, of all people, was in the room with him, hiding somewhere in the dark. Taking off his glasses, narrowing his cursed eyes so they could not react as strongly as when they were wide open, Jade polished the lenses, turning slowly, casually. The Emperor was sitting on one of the chairs, a leg crossed over the other. He looked comfortable enough. There was worry on his face, though, the most striking bit. Jade put his glasses back on and looked up at the Emperor. There was no mistaking it. That was worry. "It must be done."

"Everyone told me I lost you with the collapse of Akzeriuth, and now you're going to the core?"

"If we execute this perfectly, we will have more than enough time." Jade tapped his fingers on the bedside table, just one hand staying occupied that way. The other hand hung loosely at his side, disinterested.

"Aren't you afraid that everything might not go off without a hitch?"

"It's always a possibility." Jade pursed his lips. They had gone over this before. As an officer in the military, Jade put his life at risk every day. And every day, Peony would offer him that promotion to General which would take Jade off the front lines. Jade couldn't do that. He was needed on the field, right up front with his soldiers. He couldn't abandon them. "But we are prepared for that, aren't we?"

Peony sighed, loudly with a grunt at the end, to make a point. Jade was tired of hearing said point. Running a hand through his long hair, to push it all back, Jade started taking off his gloves, tugging finger by finger to get them loose, before inching the entire things off. Soon his arms, encased in thin black cloth, were out in the open now, goosebumps rising on his hidden skin. Jade started working at the buckles and buttons of the outer layer of his uniform, the rest of the outer layer at least, until his jacket was off and hanging in the small armoire the room had, the thin, long sleeved black undershirt all that was left on his torso.

"Isn't there anything you'd regret leaving behind?"

Jade sat on the edge of his bed, working at the last part of his teal outer uniform, that which was attached to his armor-shod boots. The Emperor was not taking Jade's hint. Sometimes the man could be dense. Trying to hide his irritation, Jade forced a small smile, like he always had dancing on his lips. Who would question someone who was smiling? At least Jade hoped that it would work (though he knew it wouldn't against Peony, as it never had). "There is nothing I could do to eliminate everything from that list, even if I lived for eternity."

It didn't work.

Turning back towards the bedside table, Jade peeled off his black undershirt, folding it and setting it to the side. He wasn't the strongest person in the Malkuth Imperial Forces. Far from it. But he wasn't weak, nor was he feeble. There were muscles there, though Jade had always felt self-conscious around the Emperor, even before he gained that title. Peony had always been broader than him, more athletic, sporting a dark tan and larger build. Jade could always use the excuse of being fine boned, not that he felt like arguing his appearance with the Emperor, of all people.

They were companions, nothing more.

"Isn't there anything you'd regret not doing?"

"Finding a way to stop Fomicry from ever happening again. Convincing Dist that Neblim is gone, for good, and nothing will bring her back. Stopping the world from destroying itself because of my creations." Jade paused, crimson eyes locked on the bedside table, refusing to focus or move elsewhere. "Would you like me to continue?"

"What about me?"

That voice was a lot closer all of a sudden, Jade spinning, the tips of his dusty brown hair hitting the light blue tunic Peony had on. Jade sucked in a breath, the only outward sign of his discomfort as he stood straight and tall, like always, trying to act unaffected. He was staring at the Emperor's bronze tanned neck, bare, with golden blond strands of hair, braided with blue beads, hanging around it.

All this time, Jade had thought it was Nephry the Emperor was pining after.

Or had he misheard?

"Your Majesty…?" There was no room for Jade to take a step back, so he glided to the side, turning and sitting on the bed. With a slight shift, the Emperor was facing him, cornering him on the bed. Well, it wasn't truly cornered, as Jade could just escape by going over it, to the other side. His mind was calculating every possible escape route at the moment, just encase one was needed. "I don't believe I—"

"You know exactly what I am saying." The retort was snapped off; Jade recognized the tone. Peony was in no mood for anything but straight answers. It was easy to deal with him with such a mood, as Jade was a very direct person, but _this_… "Why else do you think I've yet to marry?"

Jade moved back on the bed, Peony crawling up on it in return, on all fours. Peony was very much like a stalking cat, after its prey, all rippling muscles and grace. Jade had to look away from the view he got when Peony's collar fell open like that.

It wasn't that Jade had never thought about it. With him. Far from it. The Emperor was in excellent shape, and though not the most intelligent person to ever live, he was still bright enough to carry on a conversation with. Jade had been friends with him for most of his life. Jade was a personal confidant to the Emperor, an advisor too, though Peony's other councilors did not approve. He was just an orphan boy from Ketterberg when it all came down to it. They always brought up that he really wasn't part of the Curtiss family whenever they wanted leverage.

"I thought you wanted my sister."

Peony paused, big blue eyes blinking for a moment before he burst out laughing, falling down on top of Jade in the process. It wasn't an uncomfortable position. Jade caught himself holding his breath for a moment, before his gaze hardened behind his rectangular rimmed glasses, and he forced himself to breathe again. Because of their positions, both as childhood friends and in the hierarchy of Malkuth, Jade had never really given this situation serious weight or serious thought. Now that he was in it… he didn't know what to do.

"Nephry's pretty, yeah, but she's not you." Peony shrugged, which was awkward from this position, but still discernable. He had a big smile, almost a grin, on his lips, and Jade couldn't help but feel a smile creeping onto his own lips.

Thoughts of the mission to the core, his almost 99 percent chance of not making it back, all of those variables and mathematic equations and theories—they had all melted away, left him, having taken the stress with it. It was just them, in the dimly lit room.

"Your Majesty, I don't feel this is appropriate for— nngh."

Jade tried, but failed, sentence dissolving as the Emperor's hand slipped inside his pants, quite effectively silencing him. As that hand explored, fingers brushing along his length, further down, _in_, Jade gasped. The cold, level headed resolved was quickly being fondled away.

And the Emperor had been right. Jade would have regretted not doing this, at least once, before going to his certain death.

The pants were pulled quickly off, tossed carelessly to the side, so like the Emperor. A light blue tunic, dark blue sash and white pants were all soon to follow the black pair, rumbled to the floor. How was Jade supposed to explain his wrinkled uniform pants in the morning? Normally he was so full of poise, so perfect and demanding that no one ever questioned him. But with wrinkled uniform pants? No one would accept his authority.

Those thoughts melted as Peony kept preparing him, taking longer than Jade had even prepped someone himself. The feeling was far from unpleasant, though Jade rarely found himself feeling it, rather administering himself.

But not with the Emperor. This was different.

Another finger slid in, and those thoughts vanished too.

A contented sigh escaped Jade's lips as Peony moved himself between his legs, skin on skin, and the rhythm started.

It was dark out when his eyes finally opened. Someone had opened the window, letting in the nighttime desert breeze, which cooled his bare back, still prickled with sweat. The sun had gone down while they were still in the act, the heat of passion carrying them on. It had been lovely to watch the sunset from over Peony's shoulder, not that Jade would comment on such romantic interludes.

"You passed out."

Jade turned his head to face the other direction on the pillow, confronted with Peony's grinning face. A flush started to rise on it, Jade immediately closing his eyes, and fishing on the bedside table, reaching across Peony to do so, for his glasses. They weren't there. Somewhere along the line they had been removed, which was stupid. Peony knew why he had the glasses. His cursed sight had to be controlled by them, the lenses nullifying the effect, and now…

Dragging himself closer, against Peony (whom had also pulled up the covers part way to keep them warm, it seemed), the tips of his fingers finally found the rim of his glasses. A brief struggle got them close enough to grab, Jade immediately thrusting them on before opening his eyes again.

And for some reason, Peony was still smiling.

"I thought a soldier of your standing would have more stamina."

His crimson eyes narrowed, and Jade contemplated for a moment taking the glasses off of his own volition. But he had still sworn his allegiance to this man, wouldn't even call him by his actual name when alone, unless instructed specifically to do so, and Peony never seemed to mind. Jade doubted things would change now. They would go on as they always did, if he made it back.

"Ha. I'd like to see how long you'd last in _my_ position." Jade kept glaring, a smirk of his own quirking up at one side of his lips. "Actually, flipping our positions _will_ be something I'll be terribly torn about if I never get to do it in this life…"

A pillow hit him in the face before he even knew what was happening, Jade falling back onto his spot on the bed, on his side rather than his stomach now.

"Not happening."

"Of course, Your Majesty."

Peony snorted, hitting him with the pillow again. Yes, everything was definitely going to go back to normal.


End file.
